0:00:05.8 Juan Alvarez: Would you like to be a better parent or a partner? Are you ready to break free from unwanted habits and get over the burden of the past? Maybe you would like to develop a healthier relationship with money or with food, or be able to lead with compassion. In all those matters, mindfulness can be a catalyst of change, and a resource that you can always tap into. My name is Juan Alvarez and I’m an executive coach, and the mindfulness teacher, a teacher and a guide or a companion for people looking for attainable ways of being more present, peaceful, and conscious in their lives. I have dedicated my life to exploring how mindfulness and meditation improve our relationship with the world and with the people around us. So tune in, if you want to build a solid meditation routine and learn different techniques that we will also enhance the only practice that truly matters when it comes to being purposeful, life itself.
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0:01:12.6 JA: Welcome to Life Is The Practice, friends. Today we are going to explore practical aspects of meditation, one of the fundamental elements of conscious living. I will do my best to address the most common questions I usually hear from students like, how often to meditate and for how long, what time of day is best, how to build a meditation practice, and how to succeed at this practice? As we discussed in Episode 1, meditation is only one aspect of the practice. We don’t want to forget other cornerstones such as active practice and the processing of negative emotional charge. But for today, we’re focused on meditation. Let’s go.
0:01:51.6 JA: Let’s start by clarifying what it is to meditate. To practice correctly, it is essential to define and understand this practice. In the field of mindfulness, meditation is the exercise that helps us develop specific skills like awareness and conscious alignment, which allows us to be more present, peaceful and purposeful. Mindfulness meditation is about developing skills that helps us to be present and aligned with life, instead of getting trapping constant thought and mental chatter. In this sense, everything that invite us to think, like listening to calming stories or guided reflections is not meditation. Even when we practice reflective meditation techniques such as gratitude or compassion, the focus of the meditation practice is lucid observation. We’re now going to review some practical aspects such as how to sit and what spaces lend themselves to meditation. It’s important to maintain a comfortable upright when meditating to help focus attention and to stay both present and alert.
0:02:52.3 JA: Now, in my opinion, meditation does not require us to sit cross-legged on the floor in difficult positions. This is just an option. I learned to meditate from a Buddhist monk and he taught me to sit on a meditation cushion, and I find this very comfortable. Even so, I have often meditated in chairs of all kinds, especially when I’m traveling. I don’t recommend though lying down for meditation, since you risk falling asleep. The point is to be comfortable and relax, to avoid tension and pain in the body. I have a video explaining how to sit for meditation, both on a meditation cushion and a chair. You’ll find the link in the show notes. Our choice of where to meditate is also important. A quiet location is best, one without much noise, where no one interrupts us and we feel protected and safe.
0:03:45.0 JA: The ideal temperature is around 70 degrees Fahrenheit, or 21 Celsius, not cold enough to make us uncomfortable or so warm that we become sleepy. Sometimes when we sit down to meditate, we get cold. Having a blanket in our meditation area is an excellent idea to cover our torso or legs. Whatever our meditation space, the ideal is always to leave it set up. This helps us to eliminate obstacles. If we have to set up our meditation spot every time we practice, we have a higher risk of not doing it. Meanwhile, if everything is already prepared, our practice will be more accessible. Having a dedicated space also helps us with consistency. Every time I walk past my meditation space, I remember to meditate. It’s a permanent reminder of the practice. If we live with other people, it’s convenient to let them know that we’re committed to practice in meditation, so that they respect our space and do not inadvertently interrupt us.
0:04:44.5 JA: Something similar happens with pets, if they risk interrupting our meditation, it’s preferable to leave them with other people or in another room while we meditate. One of the questions I am most frequently asked is, how long should I meditate? To answer this question, we must understand the purpose of meditation. The path of personal and spiritual development through mindfulness is based on the continuous development of awareness scales and integrating their use into our daily life. There is no final destination, for the practice itself is the destination. Every time you come back to the practice you’re adding to and building upon the mindfulness skills you have developed before. From this perspective, what gives us optimal results is perseverance. Meditating a little bit every day, even for a short time is better than meditating for a long time for a few days, and then leaving it for weeks.
0:05:39.0 JA: Meditation is a long distance run, not a sprint. Generally, I recommend two daily meditation sessions of about 15-20 minutes each. For example, this could be first thing in the morning and before bed at night. The point is to explore what works best for you. Some people work well with a structure, others do better with a more fluid schedule. If you have small children, for example, the mornings may not work for you. I have clients who meditate in the car before living for work. Others do it when they arrive at the office before starting the work day. And others maybe take time out at known before lunch. Consistency is critical, thus it is essential to know how to be flexible and adapt our practice to various circumstances. Because not every day is the same, the way in which we choose to meditate each day is not the same. Some days I have not slept well, or I’m on a trip, in which case my routine disappears and I’m able to meditate only for a few minutes.
0:06:38.4 JA: Still without fail, I practice at least a little bit every day, and that consistency is vital to the practice. We should avoid the expression, “I don’t have time to meditate.” We can always find time. It may not be possible to set aside an hour, but we can definitely commit to a few minutes. The key is to recognize our practice’s importance and establish routine. Nobody tells you, “I don’t have time to drink my coffee in the morning or take a shower.” Now that we know where and how long we will meditate, we come to the moment of meditation and what do I do? You might wonder. Well, you have to have a plan. Arriving at a meditation session without a plan can block us, because we don’t know which meditation to use. It is best to work with a balanced meditation schedule to avoid doubts. The same way we plan our workouts alternating strength, cardio and flexibility, it’s necessary to have a meditation schedule to ensure we are developing the full range of mindfulness skills.
0:07:40.3 JA: There are two main categories of meditation: Technical practices focused on things like presence, inner presence or alignment, and the more reflective variety focused on what I call the path of the heart, meditation such as gratitude, love and compassion. I’ll talk more about these in more depth in future episodes, but for now, just know that incorporating both types of meditation into your weekly schedule will ensure best results. In my online course, I teach how to use all of these techniques and their theoretical framework that explains them within the practice of mindfulness. Guided meditations are also available for everyone on my website. You can use them with the link in the show notes. I will also link a suggested meditation schedule to guide your practice, whether you want to practice once a day or twice a day. Is it better to practice with guided meditations? Well, I think it’s a matter of preference.
0:08:34.5 JA: Some people like to follow the voice, which is excellent, and others are distracted or even annoyed by the guide. The important thing is to know each meditation well. Once we have learned to practice with a technique, we can internalize it and do it ourselves without guidance. Regardless of the technique we are using, starting each meditation with an altruistic intention is essential. To learn more about altruistic intention, you can check out our detailed discussion on Episode 2. I want to share now some tips for developing a healthy and flourishing meditation practice. The first and crucial thing I want you to remember is that the only thing your meditation practice needs for it to be successful is for it to happen. This is the secret of meditation. Did you meditate today? Success. And this is what I call the Nike attitude. Just do it, that’s all. Don’t judge your practice or yourself, just do it.
0:09:32.1 JA: Your meditation practice does not need mental silence, more peace or a better concentration level to succeed. Some resistance is expected in the practice and we must exert effort to overcome it, much like going to the gym. Whatever happens in your meditation practice is what has to happen. Accept it as such and continue on. We often make the mistake of going to meditation with the expectation of achieving an immediate result, as if we were taking a pill against a headache. We want meditation to help us sleep, relax, relieve our anxiety or even provide a mystical experience of a spiritual connection. This is a trap, because although meditation can occasionally offer us all of these experiences, the opposite is also possible, and meditation can be full of confusion or difficult and unpleasant. And this is all normal.
0:10:26.1 JA: I don’t go to practice to feel better, I go to practice. When we judge the success of our meditation by the immediate results it gives us, we are defeating the ultimate purpose of meditation, which is to develop our awareness skills. We risk abandoning the practice when it does not solve our problems immediately, missing the real benefits that come in the medium term. Let’s see a few more things, whatever happens in your body when you’re meditating, whether you feel relaxed or there is some tension, or you’re tired, or maybe something aches, allow it, let it happen. Practice with what’s there. The same applies to whatever happens around you when you’re meditating, kids playing outside or a fire truck, bring it all to the practice. It’s not ruining anything, just another distraction. Acknowledge it and get your attention back to the exercise you’re doing.
0:11:21.1 JA: Sometimes we have a great idea in the middle of meditation and immediately comes the scarcity mindset and fear, “I won’t remember this, I need to think about it,” stop meditating and write it down. Resist this, let it go. The thought will return, and if it doesn’t, it wasn’t that important. Some days we think, “Oh, I can’t meditate today, my mind is scrambled eggs, I’m too tired, I’m too busy, or I feel sad.” The same way, life doesn’t stop because we are ill or having a difficult day, the practice shouldn’t either. The point is not to become great at meditation, the point is to become great at life. We need to learn how to develop all these abilities under any circumstances, so we can use them under any circumstances. Therefore, every day I sit and practice with whatever conditions are present that day, sunny or rainy, both outside and inside in our inner experience.
0:12:20.7 JA: With that said, some days the mind is very agitated and uncomfortable. Something we can do those days is to count our breaths from one to seven and then start again. This gives the mind a job, and counting helps to focus our attention. We don’t count indefinitely because the mind we will get bored and we will get distracted. Another thing we can do on those days when the mind is agitated is to use a bracelet with beads, like a rosary, for example. Holding it in our hand and passing one bead with each breath, it will help focus attention and calm the mind. After a few minutes, the mind may be more relaxed and we can start our meditation routine. I want to say good-bye today with some final tips to help you build that consistent meditation practice. One of the most potent sources of inspiration is to join a meditation community, so you can share the practice with others who support each other and share their experiences.
0:13:15.4 JA: Maybe there is a local group in your area or even online. I have a Facebook group for the students in my online course, for example. Another thing that helps is to surround yourself with teachings that inspire you. Maybe you have a few books that you like or this podcast, for example, reading or listening to mindfulness related content daily will inspire your practice. Lastly, I just want to say, you’ve got this, my friend, it truly is as easy as it seems, just find your spot, choose your practice and just do it. Don’t let your mind complicate it.
0:13:50.3 JA: Alright, my friends, lovely to be with you today, and I look forward to seeing you on our next episode. Thank you for listening to this episode of Life Is The Practice Podcast. If you found it valuable, please subscribe, leave us a review, you might help others live better. And if you want to learn more about the practice, please explore the online course that is available to you at lifeisthepracticepodcast.com. Thank you and be well, friends.
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