0:00:05.9 Juan Alvarez: Would you like to be a better parent or a partner? Are you ready to break free from unwanted habits and get over the burden of the past?
0:00:16.6 JA: Maybe you would like to develop a healthier relationship with money or with food, or be able to lead with compassion. In all those matters, mindfulness can be a catalyst of change and a resource that you can always tap into. My name is Juan Alvarez, and I’m an executive coach and a mindfulness teacher. A teacher and a guide, or a companion for people looking for attainable ways of being more present, peaceful, and conscious in their lives. I have dedicated my life to exploring how mindfulness and meditation improve our relationship with the world and with the people around us, so tune in if you want to build a solid meditation routine and learn different techniques that will also enhance the only practice that truly matters when it comes to being purposeful, life itself.
0:01:11.6 JA: Welcome to Life Is The Practice friends. Great to be back with you today to explore the concept of presence. We have all heard at some point that you have to be in the present moment, in the here and now. I remember when I started meditating and reading books on mindfulness, and I didn’t understand what they meant when they talked about being present. It was an abstract concept for me. What is this thing, the here and now? The truth is that it took me a long time to get a glimpse of what all the spiritual manuals were talking about, the concept of being present, and even when I began to understand what it meant, it seemed like a ridiculous idea, like impractical, almost absurd. If I’m constantly in the present, how can I deal with the efforts of my life. In this episode of Life Is The Practice I would like to offer some simple and concise insights into what it means to be present, why cultivating presence is important, and how to incorporate it into your practice. Let’s go.
0:02:18.6 JA: Presence is one of the foundational skills we develop with the practice of mindfulness, it’s not the only one, and we will talk more about the others in future episodes, but it’s very important, presence is our ability to be aware of what is happening in the present moment. Our ability to observe how life is unfolding here now. Our ability to be present depends on our ability to pay attention, since attention is our main resource for cultivating presence. Being present then is bringing our attention to what is happening in the present moment, being here now, and realizing it. For example, listen carefully to this sound. You see, for a few seconds there, before your mind began to describe this moment, or got bored, and started thinking about something else, your undivided attention was focused on the sound. Since sound is something that can only happen in the press moment, by bringing our attention to sound, we have made ourselves present.
0:03:32.9 JA: What most likely happened next, however, is that our minds brought our attention to a thought which led to distraction, and suddenly we have lost presence. And here is the crux of the matter. Thinking is the opposite of being present. This is very important, our attention has to positions like a switch, either I’m here, present or thinking, which means I interact with the thoughts rolling around in my mind. And also like the switch, our attention cannot be in two positions at once. It’s either on or off, fully present or thinking. Most of us are in thinking mode 100% of the time, so much so that the possibility of not thinking can be an abstract concept, as it was for me. If we could go up to a fish in the water and ask, “How’s the water today?”
0:04:27.0 JA: They would look at us with confusion and reply, “What? Water… What is water? What are you talking about?
0:04:32.9 JA: We are so deeply immersed in the thinking process that we don’t even realize that there is an alternative, we are fish unable to see the water that surrounds us. Because it has never been trained, our attention, is unbridled. That leaves the mind free to take us wherever it wants. When we examine closely the control we have over our ability to pay attention, we soon understand that we have very little, perhaps because we have not practiced. Concentration is essential to becoming present. We have to take back the power over our attention, refuse to leave it defenseless at the mercy of our minds. Developing the power of concentration can be a first step in bringing attention to the present moment. Why is it so important to be present?
0:05:24.1 JA: Well, presence separates my attention from the stream of thought in which I swim. It returns me to the position of the observer of the experience, I abandon the internal dialogue, and I stop living with the constant drone of mental chatter. This ability to separate and observe our thoughts offers possibilities at all levels of our being. On a surface level, it allows us to be fully present with others and bring our full attention to what we’re doing without distractions. Which elevates the quality of everything we do. Intentionality heightens any experience, whether I’m writing an email or having a conversation, or cooking dinner. On an internal level, it allows us to observe our mental and emotional states and leave more in our bodies. The result, well, our inner lives become more vibrant. This part is essential for our personal development since we cannot improve what we do not see or feel. Bringing presence to our inner experience is the key to emotional management and conscience response capacity, the ability to neutralize our reactive behavior. It also allows us to become aware and let go of all thought patterns and believes that we were programmed with. It helps us to leave intentionally, then we find ourselves enjoying better decision-making, executing better time management, and growing as leaders, community members, parents, and friends.
0:06:54.3 JA: On a deeper level, presence allows for spiritual connection or conscious alignment, as I call it. In other words, we experience an alignment between mind, body and essence or spirit that deepens our understanding of our experience and how we relate as a part of the greater ecosystem of life, one unified life. Presence is also the door that connects being with doing, essence with form. It’s what makes conscious creation possible. How do we develop presence then, the practice of meditation is the tool that helps us develop a presence. Just as we go to the gym to develop flexibility, strength and endurance, we meditate to develop mindful skills, such as concentration and present moment awareness. When we exercise our meditation muscle, we are invited to find a point of attention in the present moment to focus on, as we did with the bell a little while ago. The meditation technique I like the most for this exercise is presence meditation, which uses breathing as a focal point to concentrate and brings us to the present moment.
0:08:08.0 JA: Like everything that happens in the body, breathing is inseparable from the present moment. We cannot breathe outside of this moment, here and now. Therefore, every time we become aware of our breath, we become present. When we meditate, we withdraw our attention from the whirlwind of thought, focusing it on the breath. That is to say on the present moment. By doing this, we begin to develop a presence and also exercise concentration, our ability to intentionally control our attention. We could focus on other things, things outside of our bodies, but breathing offers particular advantages. It’s relaxing, and it is continuous. We don’t stop breathing when we stop meditating. The attention learns to find the breath, which helps us be present even when we are not meditating, which is the point of the practice. To practice this technique correctly, we have to follow four simple steps. First, we begin with an altruistic intention. For instance, I will meditate to be more able to help others. You can learn more about the importance of altruistic intention in episode number two. Next, we continue to take deep, slow breaths that helps us relax and oxygenate the brain, which supports our ability to pay attention.
0:09:33.5 JA: I like to use the exhale to start connecting with the present moment. The third step requires us to bring attention to our bodies. As we have said, the body is the physical manifestation of the present moment. It’s a critical link that helps us connect with the present, as we will see the practice of mindfulness is based on the body rather than the mind. It is important to develop this connection. Finally, we come to the practice itself in which we observe the breath and stay present to conscious breathing. If you want, you can practice with a guided meditation I have on my website. A link is available on the show notes. I want to point out that it is normal to get distracted and that no matter how often it happens in your meditation session, and at the beginning, it will likely happen a lot, you can always just bring yourself back to your breathing.
0:10:30.9 JA: By continually coming back to our breathing, we’re building up our resistance and strength, just as if we were going to a gym to strengthen our meditation muscles. Rather than rejecting resistance or effort, try to embrace these natural responses as a part of the exercise. Judging or criticizing our ability to focus serves no purpose and makes no sense. After all, nobody expects us to walk out of the gym on their first day having lost 20 pounds. My grandmother, Albina, lived a deeply spiritual life. Like most people in rural Spain in the early 1900s, she practiced it through the Catholic religion. She lived with my grandfather in a stone house in front of the church in a small village in the province of Burgos. I remember that on one of my visits, I noticed that every time the church bells rang, she stopped whatever she was doing, walking, or working in the kitchen and closed her eyes for a moment, and then she continued on with her day. With the curiosity of a child, I ask her, “Why do you do that, grandma?
0:11:44.2 JA: “The church bells are a reminder to listen to God,” she said.
0:11:51.1 JA: You see, to improve the quality of our lives, we have to bring the practice to the place where our lives are happening, that is the present moment. We have to make of our life the practice. Practicing meditation for a few minutes each day is not enough. Our meditation practice is the gym, the space we use to develop our skills like presence and concentration, that’s our training. And then we bring these skills to real life and use them when we are not meditating to improve our experience, that’s game time. In the many moments each day when we don’t have to think about anything in particular, we have an opportunity to practice active presence. It is not true that we have to be thinking all the time. Let me say that again. It is not true that we have to be thinking all the time. We have to make an effort to bring presence to every moment when we are not managing the practical aspects of life. Let’s decide to move the switch of our attention to the presence position as often as we can and interrupt our compulsive thinking when you drive, when you cook, in the shower, when you brush your teeth, when you eat, every time you caress the mezuzah when crossing the door, bring your attention to the moment. The present moment is the focal point of a mindful person.
0:13:20.3 JA: Of course, you’re going to find resistance. The mind doesn’t want to let go of our attention. In future episodes, we will discuss why this happens. You might worry that being present is wrong, that you will lose control of your life if you’re not constantly thinking about your problems, but have no fear. It’s not true. Your mind will automatically tell you that you’re too busy, that you cannot afford the time to be mindful, that it is for someone else with a less stressful life or less important things to do.
0:13:52.2 JA: Your mind might try telling you that it won’t make any difference and that it is stupid, that you have lived your whole life perpetually thinking, and it’s perfectly adequate and fine. Oh, or one of my favorites, when the mind cleverly suggests that you’re going to lose your edge because anxiety and suffering are precisely what makes you successful. Rubbish. The eagle will justify thinking in whatever way possible, but you can choose not to listen, to keep practicing, not to give up. Another common obstacle is that we forget. The sneaky eagle will start filling our present moment with more and more mental content, steadily undermining our mindfulness practice, pushing it down on our priority list. We might tell ourselves, “Oh, well, this is very important, I can’t meditate now because I need to think about it, and soon enough we forget about our practice all together.
0:14:49.6 JA: Our smart watches and cell phones can be a modern version of my grandmother’s church bells. With them, we have an option to set alarms that reminds us to pause to interrupt the fast-moving current of our thoughts, even for just a moment.
0:15:05.9 JA: Some of my clients place posted notes around the house or office to remind themselves to be present. Alright, friends, we have discussed a few things about the concept of presence today. And as usual, I want to invite you to focus on the practice, which is what ultimately will improve your experience. Not even listening to this podcast then. We need to practice. Use the presence meditation for seated meditation. Again, links in the show notes. Practice active meditation as much as you can. Bring attention to this moment, here now. Regularly interrupt the thinking process and become present in your daily life. It was lovely to be present with you today, and I look forward to meeting you again in our next episode.
0:16:01.1 JA: Thank you for listening to this episode of Life Is The Practice Podcast. If you found it valuable, please subscribe, leave us a review. You might help others live better. And if you want to learn more about the practice, please explore the online course that is available to you at lifeisthepracticepodcast.com. Thank you, and be well, friends.
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