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Episode 10: Forgiveness

In healing ourselves, we begin to heal the world. But what is the path to get there? This episode of Life is The Practice, the last of the season, focuses on the foundational role of forgiveness – what it takes, why it’s so hard, and how we can learn to manage through our fears. My goal is to help you identify and get beyond the egoic mind, the resentments it perpetuates, and negative thought patterns that keep us stuck in a scarcity mindset. You’ll hear from two of my clients whose experiences have been very different but who share a common – and liberating – understanding of the human vulnerabilities that drive us to harm ourselves and others. We witness what it is to accept our truest selves, shedding recrimination through self-awareness and healthy boundaries. Learn about some of the practices you can use to find forgiveness, not through blind surrender but through a powerful commitment to consciousness, humility, and grace. In the words of the celebrated Russian author, Leo Tolstoy: “To understand everything is to forgive everything.” And in that forgiving, we find freedom. Welcome to The Practice!

If you seek more peace, presence, and purpose, then I invite you to click here. You will find lots of information about my 15-week online meditation course. My program integrates all the teachings I use in my 1:1 coaching practice, plus all the wisdom I’ve acquired over 25 years of mindfulness and research. 

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KEY TAKEAWAYS:

  • A look at the questions that define our struggles with forgiveness, including how to move on while at the same time maintaining integrity and boundaries.
  • Thoughts from special guests, Casey Brown and Jose Palma, two of Juan’s clients who share what they’ve discovered through The Practice.
  • Why is forgiveness a theme across all world religions and spiritual practices? Because it’s so vital for a peaceful, happy existence.
  • Wherever harm is inflicted, there is also an opportunity to explore the nature of pain and opportunity to practice forgiveness.
  • The egoic mind traps us in a sense of scarcity, the root of suffering and strife. For more on this, please visit this link for Episode 5, “The Ego and Taming the Inner Critic.”
  • Many of us resist forgiveness because we fear appearing vulnerable or weak. In fact, forgiveness requires strength.
  • There is no peace without forgiveness, which means letting go of repetitive loops of negative thinking and animosity towards others.
  • In order to forgive, it is essential that we start with ourselves; with coming to consciousness about the origins of ego-based thought patterns that do not serve.
  • Self-forgiveness is about connecting with our essential selves without defenses or justifications. No guilt. Only peace and love!
  • When we step out of the egoic reverie of our psychological selves, we are then ready to reunite with our true essence and operate from a place of alignment.
  • Forgiveness doesn’t mean agreeing with whatever harm has been inflicted. Rather, it’s an internal act of humility and transcendence, compassion and understanding.
  • Healthy boundaries make for healthy relationships. But the core principle is acceptance.
  • Ways of cultivating forgiveness: Meditation, taming the ego through conscious alignment and emotional processing (learn more about this in Episode 9, which can be found here).  
  • The Practice is an online course featuring audiovisual lessons, guided meditations, interviews,  journaling prompts, practice schedules, and a community of practitioners. For more information, please click here.
  • Parting Thoughts:
    • Forgiveness is fundamental to peace – personally and globally.
    • The practice of acceptance, humility, and letting go heals and transforms reality. 
    • We are all capable of inviting love and togetherness rather than hate and division.

QUOTABLE:

  • “There is an opportunity to exercise forgiveness whenever and wherever harm is inflicted.” (Juan)
  • “When we live from the ego, mental states of scarcity and insecurity fill our life experiences with emotional discomfort that we then project onto others, causing harm.” (Juan)
  • “To forgive others, we must first learn to take charge and heal our own pain.” (Juan)
  • “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” (Mahatma Gandhi, Indian anti-colonialist and civil rights activist)
  • “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” (Nelson Mandela, South African president and peace activist)
  • “In order to forgive, it is essential that we start with ourselves. We must start by becoming intimately familiar with the mechanisms of ego, guilt, and pain. And once we come to understand these concepts personally, we can then begin to apply them to our relationships with others.” (Juan)
  • “Forgiving ourselves is learning to get out of the ego trap and reconnect with our essential natures. It is not about entering into a mental process to justify our behaviors – an approach that only continues to feed our egos.” (Juan)
  • “To understand everything is to forgive everything.” (Leo Tolstoy, Russian author)
  • “When our family members, our employees, our clients, our neighbors harm us, it’s important to remember that without forgiveness, we remain trapped in the ego.” (Juan)
  • “I encourage you to create a ripple effect. We are all capable of inviting love and togetherness rather than hate and division.” (Juan)
  • Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” (Mark Twain, an American author)

Further information, sources, and special thanks:

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